#im jus ramblin...

[circle-bircle]

9 people you’d like to get to know better

omg thank you @neotula for tagging me!!! i love being tagged in things!!! yay!!!!!!

Three Ships:

I guess I'll do the first three that come to mind????? I don't have a #1 OTP or anything like that so

Sonya/Genny. They're just so freaking pretty together. I love women!!!!!!

Jecht/The Emperor: ok hear me out. HEAR ME OUT. why wouldn't someone ship them? when Tidus dies or whatever and Jecht gives him his lifepower/energy/whatever the hell happens, the Emperor takes JECHT when he's like that and gosh their conversation in Dream's End where the Emperor is all like 'actually I've been lying to you this entire time lol' UGHGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Cecil/Rosa/Kain: ummm idk i just had a fleeting thought about mind-controlled kain and mind-controlled cecil and which one would be the lesser evil to rosa. like. i don't know. but mind-control shenanigans aside they love each other very much and that is fact. i love ffiv

First Ever Ship: it was probably len/luka tbh. i feel like people got peeved at it because len is supposedly 14 and luka is supposedly 20 but i just aged em up. something about the yellow/pink combo (and the fact i was obsessed with vocaloid for like a decade too)

Last Song: I'm currently listening to the Tetra Master theme from FFIX :)

Currently Reading: Allen Ginsberg's A Supermarket in California. It's for class. I hate poetry, but I have to do it for my grade. I also have to read a bunch of other poems. Gosh, I hate poems. I don't know what my professor wants me to interpret from poems because it feels like he wants a "right answer" but my answer is that "it was a poem and it did things."

Currently Watching: I don't watch TV. Or movies. The last thing I watched was the first Twilight for the first time! I wish I sparkled in the sunlight.

Currently Consuming: Nothing ATM, but me and a friend went to a bakery and I got her a whoopie pie! So yay for her! We also got coffee before that, and it was delicious.

Currently Craving: I'm not hungry right now, so nothing. But I could go for some of Miss Vickie's Spicy Dill Pickle chips when I do want to nosh. I wonder if the vending machine has been restocked...

i don't know 9 people who would want to do this. i feel like @lil-melody and @ashnwolves might get a kick out of it. um. if you want me to secretly add your name to that list let me know because when people are like "anyone can do it!!!" it still feels kinda awkward. or just steal it! that's ok too i think :P

[opioidbandit]

I miss the aura kaitoukid had in the earlier episodes

[tanktopdiaz]

ive always headcanoned them as both on the neater side of messy but buck is adhd messy where everything is in its place even if that place is like. on top of the fridge sideways in a box he hasnt touched in months. but it's there when he needs it. vs eddie who had 2 sisters then joined the army who like. puts things in a cabinet hears a crash from inside the cabinet and walks away. yk?

[notsin]

clients will call me a nasty bitch ho bc they dont like my attitude whole time all im asking is why they didnt pay their rent

[irl]

like i been thnkn abt that anon n tht poem n stuff n lik idk man

its jus a culmination of my life n my choices n i honestly n truly n jus?? genuinely believe its how ppl shld behave n its actually rly baffling to me whn people dont and its hard to wrap my head arnd the justifications. and even then im learning more and more every day. like it never stops ykno?? im gonna look back at todays me a year from now n b like man.. im glad i grew from those things

ive been treated in my life with such. despairing inhumanity. from people i loved and from people i didnt even know. ive seen and experienced so many horrible awful things that if i wrote a book, people might want to toss it in the fiction section, ykno?? like. its just been a lot, and its been deeply wounding, literally all my life almost. it wasnt until the past couple yrs that i even started to get to more stable situations and learn how to breathe and exist as a human

and when i was trying to learn how to be an actual real human? as a 24 year old adult? basing myself off of all of my life experience? i was left with basically 2 options

1. wallow, the world has hurt me for a quarter of a century, i cant find it in me to trust anything or anyone, and im going to make it everyone elses problem because why shouldnt i, i deserve it. this is what a lot of people do when they get to this place. it started when i found out my dad died because of government and capital greed, and hell, just last year i had lit cigarette butts thrown at my face constantly and was hatecrimed twice in less than 8 months along with everything else. i deserve to reflect that back

2. learn how to live and be kind. the world hurt me for a quarter of a century, but also i survived it and it wasnt without help. even if i was in the trenches, i still met wonderful people who helped to lift me out sometimes. why not become that person for everyone else? humanity is at our core, and there are people worth fighting for because my love for them is worth fighting for. i deserve to reflect that back

my fight to be better for myself and be better for the people around me has been an ongoing one! its always filled with learning and figuring things out! and i will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!! make mistakes. and so will you. ive been fighting for this since i realized i deserved to be treated better when i was like 20 or smth n started the actual work to try and get better

i wasnt always a good person, and even good people have bad moments. but you learn, youll always be learning. im always learning how to be kinder and gentler to the world, and fighting for what i believe in

my aim will always be to fight to help, i want to help, i want to be able to support.

[docileandlazy]

and it goes something like. trapped beneath the body of another. tangled together breath mixing in desperate pants and sounds. bodies colliding intertwining entering another. hand in hand mouth on mouth. this is the closest to God I'll ever get. beneath another crafted in His image. heavenly father I love you so. become one flesh, He has commanded. I shall obey. Amen.

[juicezone]

venty post ramblin idk

my cats not eating well again (she didnt eat well right before i left and she's still not eating well now) and she refused to take any of her pills while i was gone (my gram tried but she wasnt able to hold her and force her to take them) and shes not taking them w cheese like she usually does so. we have to hold her and shove them down her throat and she gets so upset and stressed but she's still not eating well so i might have to schedule another visit

and im lowkey so so scared that she might need like. something internal done like idk if i can afford surgery i think im gonna be able to manage to get her teeth pulled maybe but. i have college payment coming up soon

and im so behind on college work and IK its my fault im just. this one course REQUIRES AI USE IN THE PAPER and its just. killed any motivation i have for this course and im struggling so hard to write either of them (the technology ethics course requiring AI usage is like. insane to me. like.)

and idk if im gonna get to do artfight this year bc im so busy with the stuff im behind on and idk im struggling with art motivation rn like i wanna do requests so so bad but its so. demotivating when i put my time and effort into making free stuff for people's agere requests and idk. i appreciate so so much when people leave nice tags or comments (especially when its the requester i appreciate that so so much) but like. idk. idk. it crushes me especially when i do art for non-anon people and they either just like and dont rb or just rb and dont even say "thank you" or anything in the tags. like ik im complaining abt something stupid like. im not gonna lie i kinda expect it when im making art for ppl athis point but i guess it just kinda gets to me sometimes. even if its like you dont wanna put it on ur main but u dont have a side... a message or a thank u or smth would be nice.... idk...

and my parents are fostering again and idk. its a good thing dont get me wrong but sometimes it makes me so upset and jealous that like. you'll (mostly my dad) raise other ppls kids nicer than you raised me and my brother. ik he feels bad bc he's said it but like. idk. one of the kids (i cant give. too many details lol bc legal but. both r kinder aged boy sibs) was pulling the others hair and the younger was crying and dad (i literally barely call him that except to his face its so weird typing dad for him lol. paternal unit. PU) anyway he kept telling the younger who was crying that "ur fine ur fine stop crying" but nothing to the other boy and i just. this is why i have problems expressing my feelings bc you pull this stuff and idk. idk)

on too of everythin i woke up this morning n started my period and so we got dysphoria misery on top of eveythin Q_Q kinda jus went back 2 bed n had a little cry befor i had t run errands

[circle-bircle]

ugh sometimes i think about rewriting some of my older stuff but i was on a whole bunch of dumb shit a few years ago and now that im not doing dumb shit i feel like im not as funny. like i dont know i really would like to write 3h again but i just like. can't. i can't write actual ff7 stuff. i literally can't write anything ever. but maybe I will. but I won't anytime soon. y'know?

[piers-official]

how does an entire city fit inside a warehouse

Sheer will and a bastard of a [ex] chairman alone.

So, Rose wanted the city t'look somethin' like Mauville up in Hoenn- Inside livin', mall-like, foodcourt, all that shite. Halfway through his lil' "project" (Years later mind ya), when he discovered there was no power spot, he wanted t'abandon the whole project and move us somewhere that was too bloody far! We didn't want t'move though, we were already settled into place, an' we didn't give a damn about no bloomin' power spot, so we told 'im "No".

Rose didn't like that, so instead o'finishin' the city he left it half-arsed and fucked off. Thankfully, we don' need no damn chairman t'tell us what t'do so all the inhabitants worked together and built the rest o'everythin' and tidied up the place.

For years we've been tryin' ta get more fundin' to fix things up (like the roof which has holes in it, and addin' light to th' place) but we always get denied. Why? 'Cause dynamaxin' is what makes city's big in Galar, an' since we don' have that, they don' care.

Granted, some people like th' aesthetic of a "night city", hence the all the neon and whatnot, but it ain't good for us inhabitants. We've installed a few UV lights here and there for artificial sun, but even those are startin' to go out.

... Shite, Arc above. Jus' realized I've been ramblin'. Sorry 'bout that but, m'real passionate 'bout my city and m'fellow city folk.

[melodysspacee]

hihi!! intro post!

hello! i am melody!! dis is my main blog where i post stuffs mainly really bout my littlespace an caregivers!! i hope to make lotsa friens but if you dont wanna be friens dont tell me bout it cause i dont fink dats very nice. insted you can jus scroll away! i will be mostly little on dis blog but may occasionally make big posts (never wifout warning!!) i tend to mindlesly post when im little, so prepare for random spam then no posts for a monf /hj

the types of things i post can range from different arts an crafts to my littlesnacks to my stuffies to maybe even myself!! i also love ramblin about my special interests, so im sure ill make an annoyin amount of posts about those /hj again

✿ about me!! ✿

❀ 16 not regressed, 4-6 while regressed

❀ please be patient!: bpd, osdd, ptsd

❀ *loves* making friends; more social when little than big

❀ loves to play; has to be doing something all the time

❀ very expressive and passionate, may come off as argumentative

✿ special interests!! ✿

☮︎ house md

☮︎ shameless

☮︎ drawing/crafting

☮︎ fashion

☮︎ animals

☮︎ tangled/tts !

✿ a little more bout me before i go: ✿

i am very quick to block people who dont give me da rite vibe or treat me a way i dont like. pleas dont ever take it as anyfin personal! i already have a caregiver, but i always wanna make more cg friens! same goes for ofer littles! this is a sfw blog an would prefer if only ofer sfw blogs interacted! anyways im gonna rap dis up, if i fink of anyfin else i need to add, i will later. i hope we can be friens!

i am a system, but dis is just my blog, if anyone else posts they'll make it explicitly known!!

ALTERS DAT WILL BE HELPIN ME POST:

Ethan -🔮

Lola -⛅️

Mandy -🍇

-melody °❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔:･

[aizawas-dryeye]

hey siri how do i not feel like a burden all the time over the smallest things always at all times every waking second of my life

[crescent-cubed]

i crave affirmation and im going insane or are my ramblins sane

my oberanxios brain keeps overthingins everyhting

like everything

i jus wan tcubbles and to not be sick

[pasta-pardner]

rifp to every traditional artist who does their pencils and inks on the same sheet of paper. y'all are braver than me.

[jewpacabruhs]

yall im having a bit of a moral dilemma. ill be 22 this year and i first got into south park at... 12 going on 13 i think. so the boys were like, barely younger than i was. 4th grade was like in my immediate past. and i was reading fics w them as teens, where theyre like 16 / 17 / 18, and that felt ancient to me lol.

and now, being an adult, i try to only engage with fic where they're fully grown (and not 18 yr old seniors grown, like, idk feels wrong) but in fanart.. thats hard to come by. and now most art w them as adults is in the style of those specials which 😷

long story short, i went through the sp and kyman tags recently to queue some art and i realized how young theyre drawn half the time. and it's fine when theyre just being kiddos, but in some of the ship art, like, more than ever im baffled n grossed out by how youthful they appear. honestly even a 15 yr old shouldnt be drawing 10 yrs old kissing.

anyway ive gotten rlly skeptical with a lot of art. not the artists, i dont care enough to open their blogs n Investigate - i just see art and am like. Hmmm. Hmmmm. and ik i dont post much as is, but im jus gonna be extremely picky abt what i reblog from now on.

[mister-lady]

I found an old drawing book I had where I made a long list of different prompt ideas and AU's and hopefully that'll get me writing